so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
