What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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