I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
