he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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