I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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