you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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