He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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