So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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