So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
