Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
