there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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