New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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