Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Who wears a wallet chain?!
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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