Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
