That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i already hear my dad disowning me
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
