didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
