North Korea, Best Korea!
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
