I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
this will be a night to untag.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Randomize
