Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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