do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
