Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
