You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
