My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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