just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
