You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
