Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
