I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
