Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
