As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Drunk is not a location!
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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