I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
how can u be prego again
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
