After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
