she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I want her autograph on my taint
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
you had me at cake vodka
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
