I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
