I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
