I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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