I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Pooping to opera.
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