absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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