In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
