Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
