hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
