just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
