i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
