If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
