A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
