just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
