If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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