so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
