If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
