OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
