she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
