I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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