Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
