Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
