My sheets look like a crime scene.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
